Within the confines of the tent, there was a sense of death and rot to the place that made me recoil, and as I did, I saw her. The shell of of my love. Nothing more than a barren husk that jerked and spasmed and screamed with hollow, hollow eyes.
My entire body went rigid.
The sun of my light snuffed, lit, and exploded out in a destructive sphere.
I remember skinned knees, blank eyes, and a touch that quit. On my knees before her, I tried to connect, sliding my fingers down her face in that very common way for me to communicate my adoration for her. She snapped back like a wounded animal; her eyes tore into me, accusing me as her tormentor.
My body spasmed and cursed itself, a poison that soared through my veins like cold water. A sweat broke out as I watched the ground tear out from between us. The quaking earth burst and rent in a frenzied madness, sending showers of boulders through the air. I stared in disbelief as she shrunk back, growing smaller and smaller in my view. The walls fell away and left me there on my small island of despair while the darkness around my lover cruelly offered her the world. All within the confines of the tent.
I tried to connect, to establish some form of contact that would awaken her, yet she howled enraged and frightened and clawed at me as if I were the cause of this pain.
The realization was a slap in the face, the damage ten-fold, as I fought the Darkness in her with rapier and dagger, only to be thrown aside by the cleave of the claymore.
Others came, shutting out the space within the voided tent and spewed foul rot from their mouths, burning my skin. Burning.
Information shot up around me like pieces of flint shun from a blade. Lost ever more in the air as one part of me shot greedy hands out to shove the words into my mouth, but it did no good as the chips melted into gas and smoke. The other part of me reached out across the abyss for my love, and I knew nothing but the fact that I am not...capable.
How could they not see the condition my love was in? How could they be so fucking thoughtless and senseless and hateful and--
In a flurry of angry tears, I screamed and jerked around, blade drawn and re-sheathed into the blonde woman's throat. I watched as she tried to talk. It reminded me of someone talking under water, the way the words bubbled. She mewled and I sneered, twisting and ripping my dagger from her. The man I know. I saw him. I felt him like a renegade thought laughing playfully, like my son used to. His shock stayed his hand; my foot shot out, took his knee from him. Completely. To the stones of the dead fire he crawled, and I did the one thing that would please me the most. I took his head, opened his mouth, put it on the edge of the rock, and STOMPED on the back of his head.
The lesson is to curb yourself or someone else will do it for you.
I sat there before my lost love unfound. I could hear the two talk behind me. Man and woman.
I cried her name with mine tears.
I reached back out for her, the distance growing exponentially now as she shoved me away, scrambled over and burst towards the exit. Suddenly wild and feral, she lashed out, restrained.
I looked around; uncontrollable animal held by whore, blockaded in by mutt, and the monster gorging on words and emotions.
The sun of my darkness bore my secret name, mocking me.
Always mocking me.
My entire body went rigid.
The sun of my light snuffed, lit, and exploded out in a destructive sphere.
I remember skinned knees, blank eyes, and a touch that quit. On my knees before her, I tried to connect, sliding my fingers down her face in that very common way for me to communicate my adoration for her. She snapped back like a wounded animal; her eyes tore into me, accusing me as her tormentor.
My body spasmed and cursed itself, a poison that soared through my veins like cold water. A sweat broke out as I watched the ground tear out from between us. The quaking earth burst and rent in a frenzied madness, sending showers of boulders through the air. I stared in disbelief as she shrunk back, growing smaller and smaller in my view. The walls fell away and left me there on my small island of despair while the darkness around my lover cruelly offered her the world. All within the confines of the tent.
I tried to connect, to establish some form of contact that would awaken her, yet she howled enraged and frightened and clawed at me as if I were the cause of this pain.
The realization was a slap in the face, the damage ten-fold, as I fought the Darkness in her with rapier and dagger, only to be thrown aside by the cleave of the claymore.
Others came, shutting out the space within the voided tent and spewed foul rot from their mouths, burning my skin. Burning.
Information shot up around me like pieces of flint shun from a blade. Lost ever more in the air as one part of me shot greedy hands out to shove the words into my mouth, but it did no good as the chips melted into gas and smoke. The other part of me reached out across the abyss for my love, and I knew nothing but the fact that I am not...capable.
How could they not see the condition my love was in? How could they be so fucking thoughtless and senseless and hateful and--
In a flurry of angry tears, I screamed and jerked around, blade drawn and re-sheathed into the blonde woman's throat. I watched as she tried to talk. It reminded me of someone talking under water, the way the words bubbled. She mewled and I sneered, twisting and ripping my dagger from her. The man I know. I saw him. I felt him like a renegade thought laughing playfully, like my son used to. His shock stayed his hand; my foot shot out, took his knee from him. Completely. To the stones of the dead fire he crawled, and I did the one thing that would please me the most. I took his head, opened his mouth, put it on the edge of the rock, and STOMPED on the back of his head.
The lesson is to curb yourself or someone else will do it for you.
I sat there before my lost love unfound. I could hear the two talk behind me. Man and woman.
I cried her name with mine tears.
I reached back out for her, the distance growing exponentially now as she shoved me away, scrambled over and burst towards the exit. Suddenly wild and feral, she lashed out, restrained.
I looked around; uncontrollable animal held by whore, blockaded in by mutt, and the monster gorging on words and emotions.
The sun of my darkness bore my secret name, mocking me.
Always mocking me.
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